how do flat chested girls get laid?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
