i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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