I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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