I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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