So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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