i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
