I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
It's blow job season.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
