I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
