Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
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He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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