i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
