real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
