At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
