Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
this will be a night to untag.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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