After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
