I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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