Sry I called you an 8
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
