Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he thought i was a dude.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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