Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
