Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
