Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize