i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
