I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
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What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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