He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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