Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
