you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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