Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Randomize