Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
