***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so that wasnt chicken after all
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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