Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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