And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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