Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
