have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
this is an emotional support booty call
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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