WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
