i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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