respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I understand Curling. That high.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
