a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
