He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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