Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
