hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
