I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
