I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
