So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
