I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
