did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize