You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize