So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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