It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
