five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
