Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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