I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
