it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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