Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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