I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
