No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Come on in and take your pants off
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