So drunk its hurt
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
