We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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