I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
